Lost? Lost.

Dec 29, 2018
Saturday
11:14 PM

Christmas was right around the corner. The winter breeze had already settled in our streets, the fog had taken over the park and the roads were silent, calm, peaceful like they never are.

Source: Google Images

I was awaiting for the universe to show me a sign, a direction - just something to point me towards my goal, my purpose in life and relieve me of this unsettling feeling of being a pond. Stationary and fleeting.

I'm well-settled in my job, my profession is what I wanted to do ever since I was a child. My parents love me, my family is happy with how I am. Everything's great but call me a pessimist, I know this won't last. Wise will the ones who'll stand prepared for the nadir, for all good things must come to an end. 

I have no pressures of succeeding in life, but constantly and overwhelmingly, I feel pressured by myself. "Is that all? Is this the end of your aspirations?"- and more feelings of resentment, hopelessness and underachievement keep knocking my peace over. I always thought of myself as a bright child, one who understood life better than her peers. Clearly, my vision was skewed and I overestimated my abilities by a large margin. 

I'm not any less ambitious than what I was at the barmy age of 7. I have dreams, much more low-key and simple, but they are on my list of priorities. And as ever, as long as I keep chasing these thoughts, I would do my job towards this world. As much as I'm doubtful, I am not scared to try.